Live the Platinum Rule for One Day - Lane Monson
Live the Platinum Rule for One Day: We all know the Golden Rule by heart, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” While I have always loved the Golden Rule and have tried to live it, I’ve come to realize within the past year or so that there is a deeper and more meaningful way to serve. This deeper way to serve is called the Platinum Rule, “Do unto others as they would have you do unto them”. When I compare these two virtuous rules, here is what stands out to me. While they both have a positive impact on others, one of them is more self-focused vs. others-focused. The one focuses more on what “I” would want if I were in your position vs. on what “you” actually need or desire. One focuses on truly knowing and understanding the needs of another vs. assuming you know. This may seem like a small nuance, but the impact of serving with understanding vs. serving by guessing is monumental.
Live the Platinum Rule for One Day: We all know the Golden Rule by heart, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” While I have always loved the Golden Rule and have tried to live it, I’ve come to realize within the past year or so that there is a deeper and more meaningful way to serve. This deeper way to serve is called the Platinum Rule, “Do unto others as they would have you do unto them”. When I compare these two virtuous rules, here is what stands out to me. While they both have a positive impact on others, one of them is more self-focused vs. others-focused. The one focuses more on what “I” would want if I were in your position vs. on what “you” actually need or desire. One focuses on truly knowing and understanding the needs of another vs. assuming you know. This may seem like a small nuance, but the impact of serving with understanding vs. serving by guessing is monumental.
The best analogy or parable I can think of is a lesson taught to me by the wife of one of my best friends. She was once the leader of a large women’s service and relief organization for her church congregation. Once she stepped into the role, and the mantle was placed upon her, she quickly discovered that while much service was being rendered to women and families, the depth and meaning of that service was not being felt, by either the givers or the receivers. Specifically, she noticed that when a family was struggling, it was customary to assign one of the group members to take a hot meal into that family’s home each evening until the family had made it through their trial or tragedy. This was not at all a bad thing, but it was an example of the golden rule, not the platinum rule. This inspired leader recognized a deficiency and decided to lead by example.
What she decided to do was to focus on those who were suffering the most, and to truly get to know them. When someone needed help she would show up at their house, dressed in her grubby clothes and carrying a bucket, a mop, some rags, some cleaning solutions, a small plastic tub, some soap, and some foot cream or lotion. She would then survey the home and in most cases, saw that things needed picked up and cleaned up, and often there were children running around making things even messier. So, this true sister then commenced to help with anything the children needed, such as a bath, diapers changed, to be dressed in their pajamas. Next, was working under the direction of the one being served to do some basic pick-up and clean-up, either on her own or alongside the recipient. And finally, once the house was back in order, she filled the small tub with warm water, asked the mom to sit down in a comfortable chair, placed her feet in the tub, washed them, and then lovingly applied the foot lotion or cream. It was during this tender time that she really came to understand what was happening in the lives of those in her flock, and how best to serve them in the future.
As we serve we open ourselves to receiving many forms of riches; richer relationships, richer jobs and careers, businesses that thrive (because customers feel served), less stress, reduced depression, greater motivation to reach our goals, and feelings of fulfillment and being deserving of all we ask for and receive. Let’s all benefit from this challenge today by doing the following:
Step 1: At the end of each conversation, text messaging session, or email exchange that you have today, let each person you connect with know that you have been issued a challenge, and that is to find ways to live the Platinum Rule for one day. ***Modification: if you are only able to do this for even 1 or 2 people, that is ok. Feel good about doing just what you can***. Then ask them if they know what the Platinum Rule is. Feel free to answer their questions about the Platinum Rule and then ask them this question, “How may I serve you today in a way that you need to be served?”
Step 2: Many people will feel uncomfortable responding to your request and asking you for something, so pause for a moment to give them time to process your request. If they try to dismiss it, then let them know that if they cannot come up with a specific request, then you will need to come up with something yourself, which may not meet their needs. If they still cannot come up with something, let them know that you will, and that you will send them a text message with what it is. Make sure that you make at least one small commitment to serve every person you speak with.
Step 3: Next, make sure to make a list of each commitment you make, both large and small. Some examples might be: delivering a plant or flower / writing a note to tell them just how much they mean to you or how grateful you are to have them in your life / or spending time with them brainstorming on how to improve their business, or a struggling relationship, or an issue with a child / baking them a cake / taking them to lunch / ordering a book from Amazon and shipping it to them. The possibilities are endless, and you will benefit in ways you may not even recognize initially.
Step 4: Have fun and remember that when you do good for others it will come back to you in unexpected ways.